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For the last month, I’ve been trying to straighten out The Flashlight’s erstwhile flamer, fullofit965, and prove to him that conspiracy isn’t a dirty word and that lots of these “theories” have been proven to have REALLY HAPPENED. Well, it seems like he finally got the message after 4 straight weeks of posts, because FINALLY he stopped arguing and hasn’t shown his virtual face in the comments.

Consider yourself schooled, fullofit! And in honor of you learning your lesson… and because I went to the trouble of researching all this already, today I’m giving you a double dose of proven conspiracies… starting now:

The U.S. government was going to nuke the moon to show our country’s superiority. “What?” you say. That’s right, it was called Project A119, and it involved sending an intercontinental ballistic missile into the line dividing the light and dark sides of the moon. Why? Because it was looking like the Soviets were going to reach the moon first, and we had to show the world that we were even more technologically advanced. I’m not sure how BLOWING A HOLE IN THE MOON would prove this, but such was the plan at the time. Luckily they realized in time that that was batshit crazy and should be left for Bond villains and Chairface from The Tick.

Project Stargate. No, the sci-fi series isn’t based on reality, at least as far as we know. Instead, this Stargate involved the Army using psychics for “remote viewing.” For 22 years. Even though they were almost always wrong. In fact, the Army wouldn’t even tell the psychics when they were wrong because they feared it would “lower their morale.” The real question is — why is it called Project Stargate? But that’s a later post…

This will be our last post before Christmas, but we’ll still be checking your submissions, so don’t hesitate to send us anything and everything you uncover!

We’re always looking for more eyes and ears. Contact me to become one of our CIs!


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